Curiosley enough, a "political activee" has (and using my Journalistic powers of not naming him yet) forwarded me an authentic copy of a speech-being prepared as we read-of the impending resignation of one of our great leaders, no, in fact it is the greatest one we have, The CM hisself.
I know this to be authentic cos I saw it on the Vile Blog as well!
It Goes like this:-
"Normally, I start these things out by saying 'To the voting Public in Jersey.' Not doing it this time. If the undercurrent of emotion in the house is any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not Jersey People any longer.
I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or offenses worthy of subpoena in this office. The CM holds a position which is unimpeachable. The post is honest and there is no-one who can say otherwise.
The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the Administration. Or of what's going on generally in this once-great Island of ours. And the majority of you are too lazy to do your homework and figure it out. Instead, you expect me to come up with all the answers.
Just of late, when the billowing smoke of the Haut de La Garenne fiasco seemed to be blowing away and the fallout was about to die-down, a gun was held to my head. I have been told that without transparency, that there will be a vote of no confidence in me.
I know that I have remained silent over the last few months on the matter, that is only because every utterance made is seen by the media, and a few political figures, as a move to create a pastiche of the way things are. My view is that if I say nothing, then it will not be criticised and that can only be good for the Island as a whole.
You've been sold a new taxation system by the former administration. My spies tell me that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of new homeowners, including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership may be at an all-time low. Our unemployment rate is now not as low as it ever was during the Walker administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.
In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the JEP Today, or on Channel News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch Pop Idol or Dancing on Ice.
I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads. Government needs large sums of money from taxation to feed its growing population of civil servants. How else can we do it?
I personally do not wish to take the credit for the management of the Ministry, yet as it’s architect, it would seem to me that this long due credit has eluded me.
This is why my position has become untenable.
So I quit. "
Like its author, quite short I think!
