Never understood cricket, thought a trip like that would more be like cultural excitement and sporting experiences! 
Scene - A very run down apartment block in North Mumbai. Four men from Jersey are shown into what looks like a doctors waiting room circa 1973 with chipboard walls. A ceiling fan rattles above creating no discernable downdraft. The temprature at midnight is 96 degrees. TV news flickers on low voltage whilst the insectocuter illuminates the room. The drunken and confused men are starting to wonder why they are there.
Owner of brothel (a certain Mr Chhatrabhuj Kalpesh) - "Good evening gentleman, what a wonderful evening for carnal pleasures - is it not?" Most welcome, please sit down.
Jerseyman number 1 (The retailer) - "Carnal pleasures? What are you on about?"
Mr Chhatrabhuj Kalpesh - "Please sir, no need for embarrasment, we have pleasure in giving you pleasure sir. Yes please. Step this way."
Jerseyman number 2 (The accountant) - "Now look here I think there must be some sort of misunderstanding, we asked the taxi driver to take us to nightclubs that tourists don't usually frequent!"
Mr Chhatrabhuj Kalpesh - "He did the right thing, here we have the lowest prices of all north mumbai! Full sex for 70 rupees. Group sex for 200. Excellent deal"
Jerseyman number 3 (The estate agent) - "Come on you lot I'm off. Lets get out of here, this is no nightclub"
Mr Chhatrabhuj Kalpesh - "But we can play disco music for sexy dancing if you so wish (smiles and tilt's head from left to right).
Suddenly a door opens and out walks a satisfied former England and Warwickshire fast bowler Gladstone Cleophas Small (otherwise known as 'no neck'). All Jerseymen fall about laughing at the improbability - one (the accountant) asks for an autograph!
Jerseyman number 4 (The Lawyer)- "I thought you implied your low prices only attracted the locals - what's 'no neck' doing here?
Mr Chhatrabhuj Kalpesh - "Please sir Mr Small is much liking Mrs Kalpesh's neck massage for many many years when England test team visiting Bombay. Tea anybody? Most welcome. Most lovely to see you all. Mrs Kalpesh will be as delighted as Bonnie Prince Charlie on a Double decker bus to Marble Arch. Ding Ding! Tickets Please!"
Gladstone Small - "Lads lets go, don't waste your money, he's got his mum working tonight instead of his missus. Fancy sharing the cost of a cab back down to Colaba?
Jerseyman number 1 - "Errrr......you go on lads - I'll er......make my own way."
This is a true story - the names and chosen careers have not been changed to protect anyones identity.